PrettyMuchMegan

Quakers?!

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:07:11 GMT

So yeah Chris dragged us out to a Quakers meeting house to hear him speak. Jeeze. It wasn't that bad I guess. They were nice enough people.

Michelle, Christie and Sinead bought him a fucking ginormo-cookie though. What the hell? Embarrassments, the lot of them.

Hearing Chris speak again was awesome and everyone there was so nice. It was great to meet new people.

Eh, on the way home I got sick. Had to spend yesterday at home, which is a lot of shit. I watched season two of 'The Osbournes' though.

Today at school we arsed around I guess. I played some table tennis, and then we watched Truman or something in History and we just joked around in Biology. I kind of want tp see HSM3 at the movies though. I've been invited to 'Laser Quest' on Sunday with everyone because Beth's coming up, but I don't know if I'll be able to go. Um yeah, I didn't take any pictures of Chris speaking because I was so tired, and I decided I'd rather listen to him.

Not much happening in my life to be honest. Apparently Becky got off with Teddy(?) from Elliot Minors brother.

Omega - Stone Sour.

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:32:30 GMT

What a skeletal wreck of man this is
Translucent flesh and feeble bones
The kind of temple where the whores and villains try to tempt the holistic tones
Running rampant with free thought to free form, in the free in the clear
And the matters at hand are shelled out like lint at a laundry mat to sift and focus
On the bigger...better...now...

We all have a little sin that needs venting
Virtues for the rending and laws and systems and stems that riff from the branches of office
Do you know what your post entails?
Do you serve a purpose? or purposely serve?

Wind down inside atavistic galore
The value of a summer spent and a winter earned

For the rest of us there is always Sunday
The day of the week that reeks of rest but all we do is catch our breaths
So we can wade naked into the bloody pool
And place our hand on the big black book
To watch the knives zig zag between our aching fingers

A vacation is a countdown
T-minus your life and counting
Time to drag your tongue across the sugar cube and hope you get a taste

What the fuck is all this for?
What the hells going on?
Shut up!

I could go on and on, but lets move on...shall we?

Say, you're me and I'm you and they all watch the things we do
And like a smack of spite they threw me down the stairs
Haven't felt like this in years
The great magnet of malicious magnanimous refuse
Let me go and plunge me into the dead spot again

Thats where you go when theres no one else around
Its just you, and there was never anyone to begin with, now was there?

Sanctimonious pretentious dastardly bastards with there thumb on the pulse and a finger on the trigger

Classified my ass, thats a fucking secret and you know it
Government is another way to say...better...than...you...

Its like ice but no pick, a murder charge that wont stick
Its like a whole other world where you can smell the food but you cant touch the silverware...what luck
Fascism you can vote for...isn't that sweet

And were all gonna die some day, cause thats the American way
And Ive drunk to much and said to little
When your gaffer taped in the middle, say a prayer, say a phrase, get yourself together and...

See whats happening

Shut up
Fuck you, fuck you

I'm sorry I could go on and on
But its time to move on...so...

Remember..
You're a wreck
An accident, forget the freak you're just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean, shit snort and blaspheme
Let the heads cool and the engine run
Because in then end everything we do...
Is just everything we've done

This is what makes me smile. Get a hold of it. I want him...

Kelly's Story

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:00:48 GMT

Title: Kelly's Story
Author: ixsawxgodxcry
Rating:No idea...
POV: 3rd?
Summary: Caleb flips.
Author Notes: The sequel to the story I sent Kelly a while back entitled 'The Mask' where Caleb was stealing from an old couple, when she thought he was out at work.

Caleb wandered the backstreets of the small suburb pondering what he should so with himself. The truth was he was scared. Sacred of what he had felt when he murdered the old couple. He was disgusted with himself for enjoying it. He was scared that because he had enjoyed it, he would do it again. The feeling of release afterwards, was in a word euphoric. He knew exactly why, it was their fualt. His best friends fault. The thought of them filled him to the brink with anger. How could they leave him like this? How dare they? He turned around and kicked an old trash can, swearing into the air around him. What the fuck was he doing? He fell down agianst the wall and put his face in his hands. He hated all of them. He needed to pay them back. They needed to feel his pain. He would fix this. They would be taught.

He slept in that alley that night. In just his shirt and jeans. When he awoke his body ached, his back was sore and his legs had cramped up due to the cold. He sat for a while trying to remember his dream. It slowly came back to him, he was running after Kyle laughing hysterically and then all of a sudden he had stabbed him, and stood back to watch the blood stain his friends skin tight shirt. Kyle had looked up at him, pain etched in his face.
"Why?" was all he muttered. Caleb had chuckled then.
"Oh you know why." And then he had leant down and punched the boy in the face repeatedly. Kyles cries were muffled by Calebs other hand.
"You were always so pretty," he had murmered, leaning down and kissing Kyles lips lightly before stabbing him in the jugular.

That was what Caleb was going to do. Kill his former bandmates. Make them pay for what they had done to him. He knew exactly where to find each of them and he would go to Kyles house that night. "Sooner rather than later." He had murmmered to himself.

As he sat in the bush outside Kyles home, he impatiently tugged at his hair. He would have to wait until he could be sure Kyle was alone. There was a pink mini cooper in the drive that he knew for certain wasn't Kyle's. He would have to wait for the skanky bitch to leave. He could helpbut let the rage course through him. How dare Kyle have a girlfriend. How dare he be enjoying life? He decided that just to make sure there was no chance of being caught, he would kill the girl too. He would wait by her car and slit her throat. His body was shaking, he was excited. He was filled with so much adrenaline that he could bearly hold still.

His face split into a wide grin as the girl left the house on her own. There was no sign of Kyle. Caleb walked over to her cooly, and asked if he could borrow the lighter in her car and she obliged.
"Thanks." He whispered.
"No problem. Hey I recognise you. Caleb, right? You were the guitarist from Forever The Sickest Kids. You were awesome man."
"Shut up, just shut up. Don't talk to me about that you slut! How dare you metion that band to me. How dare you?!" He pulled out the pocket knife he had manged to steal and ran the blade down her cheek. She gasped. This turned Caeb on. His boner was scarily hard. He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled backwards. Her neck was right there for him to run the blade across. But he bent down towards her and bit down hard. He tasted her blood on his tongue. He pulled his head back up and admired the two half crescent marks on her neck, the blood was dripping down her neck and onto her shoulder. She was crying. Caleb licked upwards from her shoulder collecting all the blood from her skin and swallowing hard. He pulled back once more and looked into her eyes. The pain and the fear in them sent him into a frenzy. He could hardly control himself, he wanted to have her s badly but he wouldn't. He would save himself for Kelly. For when he went crawling back to her, for when he had finnished the task at hand. He had to kill them all.

With that he raised the blade and swiped it cross the petrified girls throat. She whimpered in agony, and gasped for air as he left the car and shut the door behind him. Now he had to get what he came for...

Kelly's Story

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:50:28 GMT

Title: Kelly's Story
Author: ixsawxgodxcry
Rating:No idea...
POV: 3rd?
Summary: Caleb flips.
Author Notes: The sequel to the story I sent Kelly a while back entitled 'The Mask' where Caleb was stealing from an old couple, when she thought he was out at work.

Caleb jumped as he heard the sitting room door open slowly. He turned around from his position in the arm chair and inhaled deeply. The old man froze at the door, looking at Caleb. He breathed in slowly and deeply, closing his eyes for the briefest of moments. That was all Caleb needed. He took advantage of the old man's panic and leaped to his feet grabbing an ornament from the mantle piece as he moved quickly over the room towards the frail pensioner. His hand had risen and descended quickly onto the mans head before could even think about what was going on, what he was doing. As the man fell, groaning in pain something in Caleb snapped and his hand kept falling onto the mans head, face and neck. The man's face was nothing more than a bloody mess of broken skin when he was done.

The rage was still bubbling inside him. How could his best friends just stop the thing that meant the world to him. How could they leave him and Kelly to fend for themselves. How could they just expect him to get a job and forget. Forget. That was impossible. Those years were the best of his life. He was doing what he loved, what he lived for. What came naturally to him, and he was surrounded by the people he loved. The people he could never betray, and yet they had done that very thing to him. They had betrayed him when they walked up to him. When Jonathan had nudged Kyle and told him to just spit it out. When they had all looked at him, pity in their eyes.

"We're sorry Caleb, but it's just not working out anymore..."

Caleb stormed through the little bungalow knocking pictures and ornaments off the walls and shelves as he went in search for the old couples bedroom. When he reached the door, he opened it quietly and strode across the space between the bed and where he was standing. He grabbed the old mans pillow and placed it over the womans face, pressing down hard. The woman woke up and struggled for a few moments before falling onto the bed, limp. Dead. Caleb only saw red though, and in his fury he lifted the pillow from the old womans face and punched and slapped until she was unrecognizable. Covered in bruises and cuts.

When at last he stormed out of the old couples house. The ringing in his ears and the thudding of his heart in his chest was almost more than he could bear. He ran, ran until he felt he could spit up blood. Ran until his lungs felt like they were being ripped into shreds with every jagged breath he took. Ran until his legs gave out from under him and it was all he could do just to lie there in a daze wondering what the hell he had done. What the hell had just happened. Tears fell from his eyes as his whole body began to shake. He was a monster. He had a child and a wife at home awaiting his homecoming from whatever he had told them he was doing that night for money. They had no idea what he was. They had no idea what he was capable of.

He had no idea where he was. He had just let his feet carry him, carry him until they couldn't carry him any longer. And now he was trying to fathom out what he was going to do. How he was going to live with himself. He needed to go home, he could work out what was going to happen there.

As he reached his 5th floor flat he slowed down, composing himself before he had to face Kelly. He had been thinking a lot on his way back home and had decided that it wasn't safe for him to be around Kelly or his child. So he was going to have to leave them. Tonight. He would rant some shit about it not working and then he would walk out. That would keep them safe.

"I'm sorry Kelly, it's just not working out anymore..." He whispered. Her face fell, she couldn't process what was happening, what he was saying. Everything was fine before he left. They were fine when he went out to work. 'Work'. Thats right Kelly had no idea. No idea what he really did every night. Where he got the up front cash from. She had no idea about his secret. She thought he played guitar at a club every night. He handed her the wad of stolen notes and turned to leave.

"Caleb, wait!" She said. He turned around, and fell to the side as she slapped the side of his face with such force it dazed him. She threw the money into his chest, shouted "I don't want your money" and barged into their room. Caleb sat in silence for the longest time, holding his face where she had hit him. Eventually he composed himself enough to stand up, place the money on the coffee table and leave his home.

A Lesson For Romantics; Never Get Drunk

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:15:30 GMT

Title: A Lesson For Romantics; Never Get Drunk
Author: ixsawxgodxcry
Rating:NC17?
Pairing:Kyle/Caleb
POV: 3rd?
Summary: Alcomahol and horny sweaty boys.
Disclaimer:If I owned any of this, if any of this was true I would so be posting videos instead of this drabble.
Author Notes:First ever secks fic.

"Go, take another one... I dare you to!" Kyle slurred to the other inebriated boy sitting opposite him.
"Fuck you! You take another one, you pussy"
"Caleb I can't. I'm too wasted." The thinner boy whined.
"Pussy!" Caleb muttered under his breath as he grabbed the almost empty bottle of vodka and downed the remaining contents. "Happy?" he grumbled.
"Not as happy as I could be..." At this he leaned back in the hard wooden chair, so that his t-shirt would ride past his hips and then he scratched his head, and winked seductively. Caleb obviously too drunk to understand these subtle hints, stared blankly at the bones protruding from his best friends skin.
"Why dun you eat Kyle, Mm worried 'bout you" He slurred; his tongue too heavy to move properly.
"Maybe I'm trying to impress someone." With this he looked pointedly into Caleb's eyes. Trying to tell him without words it was in fact him, that he was trying to impress him. This was not going the way he had planned. The plan was to get Caleb drunk and then they were to have meaningless sex. Not have a chit chat about feelings.
"Do you want to fuck me Caleb?" He asked pointedly, because really the suspense was killing him.
"D' I wan wha...?"
"To fuck me?"
"I ne'r sex, guy 'fore..."
"Would you like me to fuck you then Caleb? I think it would really help our friendship." Kyle smiled sweetly. He wanted this so bad...
"Hel uhr frien'ship? Mkay. You have t hel mm up the stairs fo." He smiled widely at his best friend. Kyle wouldn't know this until morning but Caleb wanted this too. But on a whole other level. He wanted love. Not rough sex with a friend. He'd loved Kyle since the day they first met.

Kyle struggled to heave the heavier boy up the stairs, and when he eventually did his hair was stuck to his face from the glue like perspiration. Sweat turned Kyle on. He could feel his erection already. Not fully, but it was getting there. He turned the lights on and guided Caleb to his bed. He made sure the boy was on his back, and silently climbed on top of him straddling his waste. He pulled his own t-shirt off before he went down to kiss the red headed boy beneath him. It was a soft kiss at first, but it grew more and more intense as Kyle crushed his lips against the drunker, less experienced boy's. They closed mouth kissed for at least five minutes until Kyle pulled away gasping for air, hair ruffled cheeks flushed. He gasped as he saw the lust in Caleb's eyes. This boy was too appealing.

Kyle pulled Caleb's t-shirt off over his head and stared at his marvelous curves. Why couldn't he look like that? Kyle ran his hands down the other boy's chest and all of a sudden both boys became very self conscious about their bodies, both mentally asking the same question; Why can't my body be more like his?

Kyle pushed all thoughts out of both of their minds as he went in for another kiss. This time more passionate. He ran his tongue along Caleb's lips begging for entrance that he was only too happy to oblige. Kyle's hands were either side of Caleb's head keeping him from falling. Their tongues raced around each other's mouths in a hurried frenzy of ecstasy. Both boys were sweating now and their erections were pressing uncomfortably against their jeans. Although Kyle was eager to get started, he didn't want to rush the inexperienced boy into something that would most definitely cause him pain. But he breathed a sigh of relief as Caleb's hands finally worked their way down Kyle's body and found his zipper. He offered the same release to his best friend, but instead Caleb told him to take his own clothes off.
"I wun see you... naked. You is beautiful Kyle. Take yo pants off and lay on the bed so I cun see you, please." Kyle's breath caught in his throat. How could he deny Caleb that one simple thing, after all he was taking advantage of his best friends drunken state. He slowly removed his jeans and his boxers and slowly made his way back over to the bed. He lay by Calebs side hoping that the boy wouldn't stand up to look at him. But that much was inevitable. Caleb stood and looked at him for what felt like years. No one ever had this effect on Kyle during sex.

Kyle's erection was throbbing. It took all of his will power to not reach his hand down and start jacking off right there. Caleb licked his lips and the lust was back in his eyes. He removed his remaining clothes in one swift movement and was straddling Kyle within seconds. The less experienced boy seemed to know what he was doing a little more than he had let on, and this surprised Kyle a bit. He started licking and nibbling at Kyle's skin, up his neck across his jaw and onto his lips. Not kissing but biting very gently. The blond boy let out a small whimper of lust and bucked his hips up into Caleb's.
"God Caleb I need something, anything, just do it now!" He whimpered into the warmth of Caleb's shoulder.
"You want me to top?" he asked eagerly. Kyle thought about it for point five of a second before nodding vigorously.
"You've done this before you liar!" he hissed.
"Maybe I'm not even drunk. Where's your lube?"
"Ugh, top drawer. Quickly!" He demanded.
"You're such a fucking whore!" Caleb hissed in his partners ear. Kyle drew in a deep shuddering breath and moaned loudly.

Caleb squeezed some lube onto his fingers, and without warming it up started to insert his forefinger into Kyle's ass, forcing his way past the small boys entrance. Kyle shuddered and moaned at the sensation. Grabbing Caleb's hair and kissing him roughly, forcing Caleb to sink his finger deeper. He then inserted his middle finger and scissored them roughly for a couple of minutes until Kyle's ass stopped clenching quite so hard around him.

On inserting the third finger, Kyle squirmed around trying hard not to yelp. His discomfort only urged Caleb to keep going. He liked seeing his best friend's face contorted with pain. His cheeks reddening, eyes scrunched up. He was the epitome of beauty lying there, vulnerable, on the verge of tears Caleb thought.

"You'll tell me when it feels good right?" He asked, moving his fingers around inside of the squirming boy.
"Mhm." Kyle choked out. Why the fuck was he almost in tears. He was the one who initiated the whole thing. The one who had deliberately given Caleb too much alcohol. The one who wanted nothing after this, and yet he was lying on his bed like a little bitch. Crying because it hurt.
After moments of uncomfortable squirming Kyle finally tensed up. His legs straightened and he moaned loudly. Caleb had found his prostate, and now proceeded to fuck him with his fingers. His free hand reached down and slowly started stroking down Kyle's length. The skinnier boy started to squirm around beneath him and Caleb knew if he didn't act quickly he'd be coming a lot quicker than intended.
"Right Kyle, I'm going in..." What a fucking lame wad he thought to himself as he pulled his fingers out and started rubbing lube onto his dick. He squeezed Kyle's thigh as he pulled the both of hi legs up onto his shoulders and placed his dick at the smaller boys entrance.
"Ready?"
"Just fucking do it" Was all he got in reply.

He slid slowly into Kyle's tight ass, and paused getting used to the feeling. Kyle started bucking up into Caleb, becoming impatient. He wanted this over with. He was sobering up, and he was starting to realize the problems this could cause. As Caleb began to thrust in and out of the smaller boy, hitting hi prostate every time, Kyle's conscience gave up and all he could muster was 'FUCK' and 'CALEB' and the occasional "HARDER' or 'Quicker'. He looked up at the gorgeous boy on top of him and couldn't help but moan at the sight he was met with. Caleb was covered with shiny layer of sweat. His orange hair was plastered to his forehead and his cheeks were flushed.

"Sweat for me"

Caleb's movements inside of Kyle were becoming more sloppier as he reached his climax. Kyle needed him to collapse on top of him. He needed to feel the heat, the sweat. He was so close, so very close. He reached up his arm and dragged his hand down the length of Caleb's body. He raised his other one and started sliding his hands along Caleb's curves. That was all he needed. He came with a moan all over his own stomach. At the sight Caleb moaned and released himself inside of Kyle riding out his orgasm and collapsing on top of his friend. He wiped Kyle's hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. With that Kyle knew he had made a terrible mistake...

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:09:23 GMT

Title:TODAY IS NOW OR NEVER
Author: ixsawxgoxcry
Rating:PG?
POV:3rd
Summary: Just another vampire story?
Author Notes: I'm not sure about this...

The wind whipped at Laura’s face, tossing her hair into the air and revealing her bright blue eyes. Rain lashed onto the ground creating great ripples in already massive puddles. The street lights were blurred by the stormy weather, and there was no sign of a moon or stars in the sheet of blackness above her head. She had given up on her hood thirty minutes previously, because it was practically impossible to keep it up. Now her hair was a mass of dark dripping rats-tails.
An hour ago, her car had broken down and she still hadn’t found anyone capable of fixing it, in fact she hadn’t found anyone at all. Most houses were locked tight and there were no pubs open, which seemed strange to a cold, soaking teenager.
Hills loomed over the village, and she was pretty sure that there was a vast space of water in the distance. The air smelled of fresh pine and sea salt. The gravel beneath her feet crunched as she walked forward. A country Inn loomed in the near distance. Its sign was illuminated with an eerie green light. Even if there was no one there to fix her car, she could at least sleep until the morning. As she grew nearer her senses became strangely magnified. Her hearing became amplified, rain drops sounded like pebbles hitting glass rather than water on water. Her eyes saw every shadow and every reflection. It’s just strange that she didn’t see or hear the man until he had spoken to her.
“Excuse me, the Inn is closed.” The man spoke. His voice was soft and muffled by his coat. He stood just behind her in the road. He had shoulder length, dark hair and a knee length black jacket. He didn’t seem to be affected by the weather, his hair was wet but the wind didn’t seem to whip it up and displace it like it did with hers. He had an elegant beauty. His cheek bones protruded slightly and his lips stayed slightly parted as he breathed. His skin was so pale that he may have been ill. Laura was taken in by the sheer magnificence of the man’s appearance. The elegance and precision of his look enthralled her and his mysterious demeanour made him all the more attractive.
“It is?” She asked, turning around awaiting an answer.
“Yes, it closes every evening at seven P.M. Is there a particular reason this is the Inn you are looking for? These streets are very dangerous, at night in particular.” His voice was near a whisper and he seemed to be anxious.
“Well I haven’t got a reservation or anything, my car broke down back in the woods, and I decided to walk into the next village. This just happened to look like the only place in the whole village that was open, but I guess it’s a dead town at night.” She shrugs, a little let down about the fact she had nowhere to sleep or get dry.
“So you left your car in the woods and walked all the way?”
“Yes. I mean it’s not a problem? I had no choice.” She shrugs again awkwardness rising in the air like a hot air balloon.
“You have to leave.” He said bluntly.
“I have no where to go, and it’s raining. Isn’t there anywhere open?”
The man shook his head slowly.
“Not at night. You will have to walk back to your car and wait until morning. I’m sorry. You have to leave now, before they come for me. Quick! I can hear them. You have just enough time to get out of the village; they will be arriving over the water.”
Laura was confused, she had a strong urge to disobey the strange beautiful man, but he seemed to be serious. Maybe the town didn’t like strangers. Maybe outsiders weren’t at all welcome. Maybe this was a government test space, or a strange religion. She was forever hearing about all the conspiracies and cults maybe she had landed herself right in the middle. She should leave, she thought.
“Who are ‘they’?” The question bubbled from her throat before she could stop it.
“’They are extremely dangerous and don’t like people. Leave please. It’ll soon be too late, and your car will be the least of your worries. Just go!” The man turned around and walked at a brisk pace, into an immense darkness. When she could no longer see nor hear him, she shifted up the path way towards the Inn. Who was that stranger?
The Inn door was locked tight, but she could see a lamp on in one of the upstairs rooms.
“Please!” She called. “I need a room, it’s cold and dark, and my car’s broken down. Just for one night. A man told me it was dangerous out here, I’m scared.”
All of her begging was leading to nothing though, and tears of frustration boiled up in her eyes, threatening to fall through her eye lashes like waterfalls of terror. “I just want a room! Please?” She heard a rustling, but couldn’t make out if it was coming from inside or outside. The wind was dying down, and the clouds were clearing. A moon was visible now, chalk like in the clouds and stars were forming like eyes, watching down on the world. Laura wondered of the evil they had seen, that they would see. She shuddered. She could feel eyes upon her, burning like fire through her skull. Memories flashed in her mind, and emotions flooded her body. A blanket of terror fell over her, and all she wanted to do was get inside, away from the eerie silence of the night.
“Please!” Her attempts at catching the stranger in the Inn’s attention became more and more feeble as she became increasingly tired and worn out. She no longer tried to keep her tears at bay and left them to fall freely and mix with the coldness of the rain. Her whole body ached, and her subconscious told her to get out of the village. Her car would be dry at least. Her hands were numb from knocking, and her voice was hoarse. Her great adventure was turning into a mess of fear and paranoia. Was there really a danger? Or was the strange man just trying to persuade her to leave, but why would he lie? Why would he just walk off? Her mind was buzzing with unanswered questions. Questions she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to. She started walking back, towards the forest to the safety of her car.

haha!

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:57:25 GMT

ROFL! Ryho's hair :L

So I had to post that somewhere...

The Only Things Going Through My Mind Right Now...

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:11:49 GMT

I don't want to wait for our lives to be over
I want to know right now what will it be?
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be... Sorry.

So, when did Brent Wilson get so hot? I mean O.o He's well fit. What happened to the awkward, greasy fat looking kid? I mean I would... Shame though I can't find any recent pictures.

I have a thing for bassists right now. And I'm back into slash. I re-read Sex Is The Most Awful, Filthy Thing On Earth [Save It For Someone You Love], after like six months of searching for it. (It's in my memories now xD)

Highfive for porn fic :)

I'm back in love with Panic and Fall Out Boy though :)

Why the fuck is this the Dawson's Creek theme?

The Car Crash

Fri, 04 May 2007 17:19:06 GMT

Title: The Car Crash
Author: ixsawxgodxcry
Rating: PG
Pairing: Brendon // Ryan
POV: Brendon's mostly - Ryan has one line.
Summary: Brendon remembers Ryan.
Disclaimer: Don't own the picture or the characters, they are both too amazing for me...
Author Notes: Ok I saw this Drawing and got hit with this sudden urge to write something.

As I slowly walk across the park to our spot, the memories start to spill back. Like a glass overflowing with water, or a dam breaking, they all leak over the edge, filling me to the brink with feelings and memories of us. Ryan why’d you have to go?
The park is quiet, almost too quiet in fact. It’s the middle of summer yet you wouldn’t know just by standing here. I suppose it probably wasn’t quiet until I walked through here. I know, I’m not stupid. I did hear the squeels of happy little children playing with each other, just like Ry and I did once. It seems so long ago now. The two of us, with no care in the world, paying on the swings, chasing each other around this very playing field. Bren and Ry against the world! It’s not like I didn’t notice the stares and that I didn’t hear the mothers calling their children to come over and calm down. Silence follows me, like a silent predator, waiting to pounce, to dig it’s claws in and swallow me whole. This isn’t how I want it. If I had it my way it would be normal and I would be the only one having to suffer, not the poor kids who’s mothers think they should show their respect by telling the most important people in their lives to shut up as I walk past. I lower my head as people look at me sympathetically. I try to keep to the shadows so that there is less of a fuss. I’m like a cat hiding from the dog, or better still the stray dog hiding from the dog warden, trying it’s hardest not to be caught an thrown into the pound. That’s what it’s been like since you left Ry, I feel like a stray. I’m all alone baby and I miss you. I walk over to our tree and look at the heart you carved out of it when we were thirteen, the first time we kissed, do you remember that. We shared a lot of kisses here. I kiss the bark softly and walk on. Ry… I can hear a baby crying, softly in the distance and I can’t help but think, or wait, is that hope, that you were reborn. That you are just a little baby again, ‘cause lets face it, your face was too pretty to waste on death. Ry why’d you have to drink. You normally swore against, damn Ryan you even fall out with Jon that one time he drank too much. I could maybe understand if you just had a drink but then getting in your car? Ry what were you thinking?
As I get to our pond the one we met at all those years ago, I break down. The tears flow freely, like two dangerous rivers flowing down my cheeks. WHY? When you called me did you want me to come after you? Did you want me to save you? I would have, If I could, but it was impossible. You were driving so fast over that bridge. I watched as you went over the edge, as your car broke straight through the barriers and started its slow decent to the dangerous waters below. I watched my best friend and the love of my life slip through my fingers as I collided with that car.

“Ry, I miss you.

Ry’s POV

“Bren, I just wish, you’d realise, I’ll always be with you!”

Don't Think Before You Speak.

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 15:28:51 GMT

Title:Don't Think Before You Speak (Oneshot)
Author: ixsawxgodxcry
Rating:I suck at this, theres no swearing or sex. PG. I dunno.
Pairing: Anyone you want.
POV:1st person
Summary: He could've been happy if he hadn't thought
Disclaimer: Not real please don't sue.
Author Notes: There will probably be loads of mistakes, after all I wrote it at like 2 this morning. I hate not being able to sleep.

As I lay here waiting for him to get home I wonder how the hell I got him. I've been in love with him for the longest time ever, but yet I was afraid to tell him. We're best friends, I didn't think he would take it too well, but I was wrong. All the nights of contemplating, thinking up the perfect way to tell him were wasted. I could have spent them with him, but instead I spent them wondering what it would have been like to spend them with him. I could've kicked myself when he said me too, 'cause those two words confirmed that the nights I spent alone, and confused were for nothing. They confirmed that I could have spent them in his arms, with a smile on my face, pretending there was nothing bad in the world, but my insecurities and my head got the better of my heart. I spent endless nights alone because I was afraid, because for once I actually thought before I spoke.

It's very short. :/ Looked longer last night teehee.